Quick Thoughts: For Wives
Some quick thoughts from Jamie
Throughout the month we send text messages to couples to encourage them individually, in their marriage, and in their faith. Below are some snippets that our text subscribers receive!
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God moves, and connects us more deeply to our spouse when we pray for them! In “The Power of a Praying Wife” I learned 3 things we can pray over our husbands that I’d never thought to pray before. 1. Pray for overflowing joy in his life. 2. Pray for fulfillment in his vocation. 3. Pray for his reputation. TAKE ACTION: Set a reminder in your calendar to pray these 3 things for your husband. Also, send a short text, letting him know you have been praying these specific things over him. He will love it!
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Chris and I wanted to encourage you to bless your husband this week! Not all men are the same, but I know Chris loves food! When I stop by the store or coffee shop, grab Chris his favorite treat, and deliver it with a hug he always lights up. The simple gift of a treat or snack fills more than Chris’ tummy. It says, “I’m thinking of you, I see you, you’re special.” Who knew a $3 iced americano could do all that! Fill his cup this week! TAKE ACTION: Put a reminder in your phone to bring your husband a snack or treat “just because” this week! We promise you, it will bless him and your marriage!
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A GREAT way to connect with your husband is to share one of his interests. For years I would roll my eyes with Chris and Fantasy Football. Or I might poke fun for how seriously he took his Wordle game. Recently I was challenged to connect with Chris by showing interest in what he likes. Believe it or not, I started to play Wordle and share my score with him daily. I even joined a Fantasy Football league and now we talk about our teams. He lights up! It’s been so fun! I started by asking questions and learning about his interests, then I asked him to teach me about them. Then, we took it from there! TAKE ACTION: Pick one thing your husband enjoys and ask him to teach you about it. Then consider sharing that interest with him! If you try it, you might like it!
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There’s an old book Chris shared with me called, “Children’s Letters to God.” It’s a collection of heart-felt and humorous notes from kids to God. It’s SO insightful! There was one letter that Chris related to most. It simply said, “Dear God, I’m doing the best I can.” –Frank. Chris relates to Frank. Sometimes he just needs my life-giving words, reminding him that he’s doing a great job. Chris is human and has his areas of growth, but his intentions are to love me and others well. He is trying. And I’m guessing it’s similar for your husband. My words can either fuel Chris’ courage or take the wind out of his sails. “Honey, you’re doing a great job.” May those words be your “letter” to your husband this week. TAKE ACTION: In your own words, pull your husband aside for a moment, give him a hug, and tell him “You’re doing a great job.”
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There is power in pause. Jesus did it often. “Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.” Read John 8:1-11. When Chris frustrates me and I am flooded with emotion, rather than react I try to pause and create some space. In that space I do 3 things that take just seconds. 1. I take a deep breath. 2. I feel and try to label my emotion. 3. I acknowledge that Jesus is present in the space and in my response (Sometimes I ask, “Lord what do you want me to know?). The pause and space help me respond vs. react. It moves us to repair quicker through conflict. Pause does not come naturally. It’s a learned skill. But those short seconds can save days of division. They also give space for Jesus to work and to bless. TAKE ACTION: Put the word “Pause” where you can see it. When flooded, pause with a breath and go from there!
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Amid busy schedules, it’s easy for Chris and I to feel like ships passing in the night. I have remedied this by asking Chris one simple question as we transition into an evening or weekend. I will send a text and say, “I was thinking about you and was wondering if there's one specific thing I can do to make tonight / this weekend a win?” I’ve observed 4 WINS when I ask this question. W1. Chris feels seen because I said I was thinking about him. W2. It forces Chris to communicate a need (healthy marriages have this skill). W3. When Chris answers, I know how to help! W4. Chris is blessed as I serve him in a way that fills his cup. Four the win! TAKE ACTION: Initiate this conversation with (husband’s name). Texting gives him time to consider his answer. Make sure to start with, “I was thinking of you…” Then make it a win!
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If you know me, you know I love research. Not every man is the same, but there are some interesting statistics about what blesses our husbands with physical intimacy. By physical intimacy, I mean any touch that brings us closer. A recent study asked men what they wanted most regarding physical intimacy. Do you know what it was? Among hundreds of specific responses, the researchers boiled the answers down to one simple theme: Men want to be wanted. Chris wants me to initiate touch, express interest, desire closeness, and want him! When you initiate touch, whether or not it leads to more, it really does bless your husband. When you bless him with physical intimacy, it ultimately blesses your emotional connection and your marriage. TAKE ACTION: Pick one specific way to initiate physical intimacy. He wants you to want him!
